Sleep

Before I get in to the actual point of this post, I should mention my sleep schedule so that it makes sense.  As of right now, I am attempting to do a split sleep schedule.  I sleep 4 hours after i get home from work (never happens, I usually sleep about 2-3 at this point) and then am up for 4 hours, then go back to sleep for the remaining 4 hours before my shift starts.

Today, I came home from work as per usual, and went to sleep.  I then woke up at 5.  However, I thought that I had awoke at 5 am, which is when I need to be to work. 

I then called my boss, at which point I received his voicemail, and left him a hurried apology and told him I would be on my way.  I texted Brian shortly after this, to which after a few moments he responded, confused.

It was at that point that I realized I had not, indeed, slept for 14 hours straight without flinching, but had woken up at my normal time after my first sleep shift. 

I had to, at this point, call my boss’ voicemail back and explain that I am, in fact, a twit, and that I would see him at work tomorrow.

 

Needless to say, I will be asking for a new shift at their earliest possible convenience. 

I’m A Girl… and That’s Okay.

I’ve never been girly.  I have certain girly things that I like, such as glitter.  I’m also good at makeup, and hair, and when I try, dressing like a female.  With all that, I belch with the best of ’em, play in the dirt, hang with the guys, mostly think like a guy, play video games, can leave the house without my hair and makeup done, can go on a trip with one small bag designated for two weeks of living, 1 pair of jeans lasts a week, and generally speaking I wear the same pair of shoes every day.

I don’t see issue with women who are that way, it’s just never been my thing.  Generally speaking, I am proud of that.  I like being able to take care of myself, fight my own battles, and clean up my own messes.

Being in a relationship, though, has made me like and feel new things as well.

I smile when he pulls out my chair and opens my doors or helps me in to my coat.  He brings me flowers and surprises me with small gifts.  My best friend and I have a word for that smile.  It’s called stupid girly face.

As anyone who reads these knows, he left for another show a couple of weeks ago.  He is living out another one of his dreams, and that makes me more proud than I can say.  That doesn’t mean him being gone isn’t absolutely heartwrenching.

It makes me feel silly.  Enchanted was on this morning, then we watched Rocky.  Two movies that very much make me think of him, even when he’s not gone.  I found myself tearing up at parts, just because they made me think of him.

That made me realize that gradually, though out this relationship, I have become girly in those certain ways.  Making a stupid gooshy face when he does nice or chivalrous things.  Missing him while he’s gone despite the solid rationale that he will be coming back.

Recently though I have had another epiphany.  It’s okay.

I grew up being one of the guys, and I still am, but it’s alright that I have feminine emotions from time to time, because I am, indeed, a girl.

Coping with Change

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” – Frederick Douglass

There has been a lot of change over the last week.  Thankfully only one is (*fingers crossed*) permanent.

The permanent one would be the new job, which will likely (I hope)  not be permanent in the most literal sense, but I hope it at least lasts for a little while, and I am given the opportunity to move up.

This week has been training, which I have found to be all but pointless, but they pay me either way so I wont complain.  Everyone’s been asking for a bunch of updates, but honestly I really don’t have a lot to report.   I trained.  I’m sleepy.  I train more next week.

They do pay me more, they give me the ability to not have to work several jobs to make endsmeat.  They let me stay home when the state gets rocked by snow, that was rather awesome today.

Honestly though, other than that I don’t have a lot to say.  I’ll gladly repeat “I’m tired” though, cause holy hell getting used to this new schedule is brutal.

On my second day at the new job, Brian went on the road again.  Last time I was at least able to see him off, this time I had to leave the house at 5 am to get to said job, and it was brutal.

I can’t say why it was so terrible knowing that he was at home getting ready, still in the state, and that I couldn’t see him.  Rationally it makes absolutely no sense as it was just several hours earlier than he would be leaving that I said goodbye.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that it sucked, a lot.

Despite how terribly painful it is to say goodbye, it is worth it.  Watching him chase a dream only makes me love him more, no matter how much it hurts.

Needless to say, I’m counting down the days till he comes home.

A New Adventure

“Every man can transform the world from one of monotony and drabness to one of excitement and adventure.” -Irving Wallace

 

I have worked a myriad of jobs in my short life.  I’ve worked in sales, and food like all young people.  Had a receptionist position for a few years in there, t00.  I have also worked in the arts, making and selling chainmaille, and with an entertainment  company as their secretary and now vice president.  A lot has happened in my professional life thus far, despite my primary income coming from the aforementioned food or sales, but now a new adventure begins.

About a week ago I received a call from a staffing agency working directly with IBM, and was offered a position with the company.  Never before in my life have I had a steady, decently paying job.  The food positions I held payed the standard eight or so an hour, and the receptionist position paid well, but was only part time.

So now I move on.

Today was my last day at the airport.  I had worked there for a year and some change, and frankly, every day was awful.  Despite that, I made a lot of new friends being there.  They make those stupid ‘family’ statements when you first start in a restaurant, and everyone always rolls their eyes and tries to get on with their day, but with the cliche aside, it’s true.  We all had to deal with the jerks, the tantrums, and the drama, but for good or bad, each other was all we really had for those eight hours.

If you had told me even a month ago that I would feel even remotely sad about leaving that terrible place I would have laughed at you, but when walking in to the parking lot tonight, I found myself a little morose.

I can say with confidence that I will not miss that job or the guests, but to all the people at that restaurant:  Thank you for being there through the rants and the frustration, and sorry I wont be around anymore to bark at people when they do things they’re not supposed to.  I will miss all of you terribly.

 

Monday I move in to training at the new job.  Once that is complete (two weeks) I move in to my first cubicle, with my own desk, and my own computer, in a field I am actually interested in.  In that field, I will have to find new balance.  I am a believer, and a dreamer.   The best thing I have ever done with my life is bring magic to people, and that will never stop being true.  We’ll see how well I manage to make that flourish in a relatively mundane situation.

Despite how good this change is, I find myself intimidated.   I can’t help but wonder how I will mess up this huge opportunity, but with that fear is excitement.

It’s time for this sparkly little fae enthusiast to move on to her next big adventure.

Here I’ll post those exploits and others, whether it be ranting or overjoying over that new corporate world, a show we’re to put on, something new I’ve made, some political rant, or exploits with friends and loved ones.