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Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it” – Hans Selye

 

It’s been a while, I know.   If you’ve followed my blog for a bit, you know that is the trend.   I come, I go, I run around like a chicken with my head cut off. I promise future blogs and then stop. Awful, dirty, liarses.   For those of you looking for the last installment of my Captain America raving, sorry, it’s likely never coming.   I did fill two blogs of squeaking though!

Faire season has come again. I don’t currently have a list of 10 things I’ve learned from the season. I assume that will come along as we progress. This is the second year of helping run the booth. This year considerably less crazy since we’re not digging up the ashes of a loved one’s house, but still crazy in its own way.

When you take on as much stuff as I do, it is balance that is key. You would think after being the type of person to constantly take on more than one necessarily should, I would have figured out that balance. That’s adorable that you have that confidence in me.

Every year, it is a new challenge in finding a way to make everything work, fit, and run smoothly. A big part of that is also learning to choose one’s battles, which I also haven’t learned, but am working at.

The Renaissance Festival is the peak ‘busy season’. A season that lasts until January, and then starts up again in March. With as much as goes on, Faire is always the craziest. I am usually working 7 days a week. This year I have altered things a bit so that I am at least not at the booth the full weekend.   Sundays are my day to input receipts, adjust inventory levels, and help catch up on missing product.

As it does, the universe has also blessed me with a promotion during this time. Last year (my first year helping manage), I had just started this amazing job. Now, this year I have moved in to a new position with the financial department.   I love the new department I am working in and what I am doing, but I am also needing to focus on new things while trying to work out everything else in the other areas.

With this new position has also come the realization that I have to go back to school if I want to progress in the field I have started in, which I do.   This now adds trying to figure out school funding while trying to establish a down payment for a home so we can stop renting.   I find renting abhorrent. Not investing my money in the place that I live drives me crazy. It’s just throwing hundreds of dollars away every month. That was compounded by the resigning of my lease and the $130 they raised my rent by.   We do not live in a nice apartment, so the prices they are expecting are absurd, but are currently unable to move, so this is just something we have to take in stride.

The plan was, no, is, to have a home in the next two years. I have a dear munchkin who I want to have enough space for when she turns 18 so she can come down to a safe environment and go to school and start a real life for herself. I was blessed with folks who did the same for me when I was getting out of the shitty situation I was in, and it is truly important to me I pay that forward.

In with all of that news, GISHWHES is coming! This is the most fantastic part of my year, and I am so glad that it’s close. With the new position also comes the uncertainty of if I will be able to take the time off that I had planned, and if the dates remain the same as hinted on the website, the hunt will actually start the final weekend of Faire. Even with both of those minor roadblocks, I am still bouncing off the walls. Our team is already mostly assembled last year, and everyone is pumped and ready to go. If you have never participated in this amazing adventure, I highly recommend going to http://www.gishwhes.com and consider it. You will laugh, you will cry, you will be stressed out of your mind, and it will be the best experience of your life.

I feel like all of these things; faire, Mischief Managed, work, GISHWHES, charity endeavors, impending school, and trying to figure out a house should have me going bonkers, but right now I am actually pretty calm and ready to go.  The rent hike is the only thing on that list that really has me stressed. Everything else I am just ready to go with. I want to think that could mean that I am learning to balance, but deep down I know that all it is, is me being ornery and planting my feet against the impending stress induced snap.

In the meantime, this is your resident currently positive attitude, signing off from this long winded update.

 

Till next time, m’loves!

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“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.”

When I was growing up, whenever I was asked the popular question ‘if you could have one super power, what would it be?’ my answer was always the same.  If I had one super power, it would be the ability to affect change.   I never failed to get funny looks, or have folks tell me that isn’t a real answer, or that I should be thinking of more fun things.

If you asked me the same question today, that would still be my answer.

The ability to affect change is a super power.  One that lays dormant in a lot of us.  It’s like the mutant gene, only unlike the X-Men, our super power can be ignored, and so many people make that choice.

People are so quick to assume their voices don’t matter, or that their actions mean nothing.  It is those thoughts that have played a major factor in leading the world we live in to be so apathetic to everything happening around it.   They either don’t care about the situation because it’s not at their doorstep, or they see such a devastating disaster and don’t feel that they can do anything to help something so huge… and they’re wrong.

We cannot change the earthquake that wracked Haiti, or the levees breaking in New Orleans anymore than we can stop the fires or the floods wreaking havoc on Colorado, but we can change those people’s situations.

Random Acts raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for Haiti, and helped fund the Jacmel Children’s Center that provides a school and home to children in Jacmel.  Tom Hiddleston lived below the line to help bring awareness and funds to the impoverished, Nathan Fillion helped bring thousands of dollars worth of donations to bring water to folks that need it, but you don’t have to have a million twitter followers to be a part of changing the world.

That center would not have happened without all of you, all of us.  All of the folks that cared enough to have a voice and work for that change.   Same with the water, and the funding for the impoverished, and every other major charity endeavor that anyone anywhere has stood behind.   We are the change.   You are the heroes.

It is your love and caring that changes the world.  It is the fact that you see the homeless person on the street and don’t just look past them like everyone else.  You’ve seen the apathy of the general populace and you have decided that wont be you.  In case no one’s thanked you for that today… thank you.  The world needs you.  All of us need you.

Endure for Kindness is coming up in November.  We are to do whatever we choose for as long as we can in a 24 hour period.  The folks of Team MMAD and I will be baking bread for 24 hours straight, and then all bread baked is going to be taken to folks in need in our community.   Attached to the bread will be notes of love, and caring.  Just a few words to let them know that they are not alone, and there are folks out there that care and want to help.

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Here’s where you come in.  This is also a fundraiser to help support Random Acts.  This is the same charity that made the Jacmel Children’s Center a possibility.  The same charity that brings shoes to children who’s family can’t afford them, waterheaters to those in need… they’ve filled homes for a family that has tried their damndest and things just didn’t pan out and inspired thousands of people aren’t the world to do random acts of their own.

I cannot imagine a better charity to raise money for, and I am so excited to be participating in this.  If you, or anyone you know has anything they can spare to fund this wonderful group, or help spur us on 15 hours in when we are wondering why we are insane, please help us out at:  http://www.crowdrise.com/endure4kindness/fundraiser/ameliaemberwing

Thank you for being the change you want to see in the world… we cannot do what we do without you.

 

 

 

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“Peace has to be created, in order to be maintained. It will never be achieved by passivity and quietism.”

 

12 years ago today our country was attacked.  I do not know a single American who cannot tell you where they were or what they were doing when it happened.  Many lives were lost that day, and many more in the war on an ideal that was to come of it.  We will never forget, and all those lost will always be in our hearts.

Please read that first paragraph a few times to grasp what I am about to say – Be wounded, be angry, mourn our loved ones, feel the appropriate level of discomfort by the boundaries that they breached… and move forward.  I am not saying forget.  No.  When history is forgotten it is doomed to repeat itself.  Remember, but step onward.

So much hate is spewed out today, every year.  There’s always hate, and inevitably, its best friend ignorance.

I understand the rage and the want to defend our home.  The problem is, so many people fail to understand something:  A race did not attack us.  It wasn’t a culture, or a religion attacking us.  It was a terrorist group.  Be angry at them, hate them, but do not scream your intolerance at a race or religion as a whole.

There are so many Muslims here in America just wanting to live a peaceful life.  Far too often, these people are met with hate or intolerance.

Those who are the hateful and intolerant will tell you that they are not racist, they’re just cautious.  Unfortunately, that’s just completely untrue, and that is, indeed, blatant racism.

We as a country will never be able to fully move forward when these people are around preaching their hate.  They spew it out every year on this day (and some all year round).  You’ll hear about it on the news, or they’ll tell you themselves over social media.  They’ll protest their mosques, their faith, their culture, anything.

I know this isn’t a new ideal, and that I am not the only one who feels this way.  I know most of you reading this blog feel precisely the same way I do.  With that, please help.

There are so many people today preaching hate.  Help me preach love.  Nothing will ever change when those with good in their hearts sit idly by.

Help the world understand that a turban doesn’t equal a terrorist, and as always, remember those that we lost.

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Rise

My last blog post before I dropped off the side of the Earth was about the shooting at the Century 16 Theater in Aurora.  I find it appropriate that my first one back discuss it as well.

In situations like that one, an unfortunate thing always occurs.  Few people can tell you the names of the victims, but everyone can tell you who hurt them.  It’s infuriating and absurd, but that’s how our media today works.  I’m not here to rant about that today though.  I’m here to talk about moving forward, no matter how difficult that may be.

It is rare that people who play your heroes on screen do things in reality to be worthy of that title, but without prompting or question, Christian Bale and his wife hopped on a plane to come see the victims.

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When I say see the victims, I do not mean he popped in to a room filled with them and waved and walked out.  He went to them individually.  He sat with them, had conversations, and when he was done with that, he went to the memorial site to pray with those there, specifically requesting that the media let him be and make it about those they were there to pray for.

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In light of tragedies like these, it is simple to just give up.  To lay in despair, and to shun the places where the unthinkable have occurred.

Alex Sullivan was at the theater that night to watch his hero save Gotham.  It was his 27th birthday, and it was the night that he died at the hands of the monster who destroyed the lives of so many others.  One could not possibly fathom the pain that his family, or that any of the other families went through upon hearing the news, but despite his son dying on a day that was to celebrate his life, Tom Sullivan encouraged anyone that could to make their way down to the theater’s reopening.

Just last week, the Century finally reopened its doors to the public.  During the months it was closed it underwent a complete remodel, and I would like to mention that during that time, they continued to pay their employees.

Through all the mess, the tears, the funerals, the physical therapies, the attempted suings, idiots using the disaster for their political agenda, all of it, I have to say I was truly blown away when we arrived for the Re Opening.  So many people had shown up! Some were donning ribbons, some were just there to catch a movie, but regardless of the ‘why’, they were there.

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Many of the families, and even citizens with no ties at all to the victims were outraged by the theater opening its doors again.  They called it macabre, outrageous and insulting.  Several of the families called for boycott of the theater, and were disgusted by those who planned to attend.

These people have the right to grieve however they need to, but I very much think that they were and are wrong.

The monster who killed those people does not get the power to keep us from any particular place.  They do not get the ability to make us live in fear.  Everyone who went to that theater stood against people like the shooter.  They said that they would not give anyone the power to divert them from enjoyment.  They said while a part of them was afraid, they would still rise as a community.  Rise against people like the shooter, and rise for those who could not.

This post is in remembrance, and in love, for those who were lost or injured.  This post is to tell them, wherever they may be, that we will always rise for them.

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To see statements from Tom Sullivan, please see – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/04/tom-sullivan-whose-son-wa_n_2410579.html

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I’ve been out and about lately, so I feel a few updates are in order.

 

Promptly after Brian returned home, we celebrated our anniversary, which falls on St. Patricks Day.  It was a whirlwind of a weekend for sure.  Saturday we went to the Metaphysical faire, I had never been and Brian wanted to take me, it smelled terrible, but it was very nice to walk through and see all of the wares, and it was far nicer to spend the day with Brian.

After the Faire, we went to our favorite restaurant down south, a little Mongolian BBQ place owned by a delightful family who always recognize us when we come in.   We proceeded to down an unprecedented amount of food, and then prepare to head up to Brighton, where the week of goodbyes to Josh and Susan would continue with their going away party.

One more Spartan Boot was had per Susan’s request.   She asked for one last one, but it wasn’t their last.

On Sunday we went to one of my favorite places in Colorado, the Buell Theatre.  I had never seen Beauty and the Beast on stage, and Brian wanted to ensure that I saw that before it left the stage.  It was, of course, magical.  The cast was brilliant, the choreography and ever present Disney genius.  I got all dolled up and donned my five inch heels (required to make my dress not drag, with the exception of the train that was, of course, supposed to), and got to see one of the best shows I have seen off Broadway.

Now comes Monday, which while not a part of the anniversary weekend is still relevant.   I raced home from work to gather Brian so we could head downtown to Josh and Susan’s apartment for the last time.   Then it was clean, clean, clean, and finally, after not eating most of the day, a birthday dinner for Josh.

With the exception of some poorly made drinks, a good time was had by all.   After shots and toasts were had by all… it was time to say goodbye.   What was left of the cleaning crew walked Josh and Susan back to their apartment and said our goodbyes.   I even managed to hold it together until we turned away from them.  Thankfully Brian drove us home.

 

Honestly, those are really the only notable things that have happened since St. Patricks weekend.   In the mean time I have been working on my class, and other things for our second biggest show of the year coming up later this month.   I’m teaching for the first time, that’s given me the jitters.  On top of Starfest, I’ve been working away at all the jewelry that we need made for the 2012  Faire season.

It’s been a juggling act to be sure,  but stress is the glue that holds me together.

Rather mundane blog post, I know!   I just figured I’d stop and give an update before I disappear in to the month of April and don’t come back out again until after the show is over!

 

 

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I’ve never been girly.  I have certain girly things that I like, such as glitter.  I’m also good at makeup, and hair, and when I try, dressing like a female.  With all that, I belch with the best of ’em, play in the dirt, hang with the guys, mostly think like a guy, play video games, can leave the house without my hair and makeup done, can go on a trip with one small bag designated for two weeks of living, 1 pair of jeans lasts a week, and generally speaking I wear the same pair of shoes every day.

I don’t see issue with women who are that way, it’s just never been my thing.  Generally speaking, I am proud of that.  I like being able to take care of myself, fight my own battles, and clean up my own messes.

Being in a relationship, though, has made me like and feel new things as well.

I smile when he pulls out my chair and opens my doors or helps me in to my coat.  He brings me flowers and surprises me with small gifts.  My best friend and I have a word for that smile.  It’s called stupid girly face.

As anyone who reads these knows, he left for another show a couple of weeks ago.  He is living out another one of his dreams, and that makes me more proud than I can say.  That doesn’t mean him being gone isn’t absolutely heartwrenching.

It makes me feel silly.  Enchanted was on this morning, then we watched Rocky.  Two movies that very much make me think of him, even when he’s not gone.  I found myself tearing up at parts, just because they made me think of him.

That made me realize that gradually, though out this relationship, I have become girly in those certain ways.  Making a stupid gooshy face when he does nice or chivalrous things.  Missing him while he’s gone despite the solid rationale that he will be coming back.

Recently though I have had another epiphany.  It’s okay.

I grew up being one of the guys, and I still am, but it’s alright that I have feminine emotions from time to time, because I am, indeed, a girl.

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Coping with Change

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” – Frederick Douglass

There has been a lot of change over the last week.  Thankfully only one is (*fingers crossed*) permanent.

The permanent one would be the new job, which will likely (I hope)  not be permanent in the most literal sense, but I hope it at least lasts for a little while, and I am given the opportunity to move up.

This week has been training, which I have found to be all but pointless, but they pay me either way so I wont complain.  Everyone’s been asking for a bunch of updates, but honestly I really don’t have a lot to report.   I trained.  I’m sleepy.  I train more next week.

They do pay me more, they give me the ability to not have to work several jobs to make endsmeat.  They let me stay home when the state gets rocked by snow, that was rather awesome today.

Honestly though, other than that I don’t have a lot to say.  I’ll gladly repeat “I’m tired” though, cause holy hell getting used to this new schedule is brutal.

On my second day at the new job, Brian went on the road again.  Last time I was at least able to see him off, this time I had to leave the house at 5 am to get to said job, and it was brutal.

I can’t say why it was so terrible knowing that he was at home getting ready, still in the state, and that I couldn’t see him.  Rationally it makes absolutely no sense as it was just several hours earlier than he would be leaving that I said goodbye.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that it sucked, a lot.

Despite how terribly painful it is to say goodbye, it is worth it.  Watching him chase a dream only makes me love him more, no matter how much it hurts.

Needless to say, I’m counting down the days till he comes home.

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