Posts Tagged ‘girliness’

I’ve never been girly.  I have certain girly things that I like, such as glitter.  I’m also good at makeup, and hair, and when I try, dressing like a female.  With all that, I belch with the best of ’em, play in the dirt, hang with the guys, mostly think like a guy, play video games, can leave the house without my hair and makeup done, can go on a trip with one small bag designated for two weeks of living, 1 pair of jeans lasts a week, and generally speaking I wear the same pair of shoes every day.

I don’t see issue with women who are that way, it’s just never been my thing.  Generally speaking, I am proud of that.  I like being able to take care of myself, fight my own battles, and clean up my own messes.

Being in a relationship, though, has made me like and feel new things as well.

I smile when he pulls out my chair and opens my doors or helps me in to my coat.  He brings me flowers and surprises me with small gifts.  My best friend and I have a word for that smile.  It’s called stupid girly face.

As anyone who reads these knows, he left for another show a couple of weeks ago.  He is living out another one of his dreams, and that makes me more proud than I can say.  That doesn’t mean him being gone isn’t absolutely heartwrenching.

It makes me feel silly.  Enchanted was on this morning, then we watched Rocky.  Two movies that very much make me think of him, even when he’s not gone.  I found myself tearing up at parts, just because they made me think of him.

That made me realize that gradually, though out this relationship, I have become girly in those certain ways.  Making a stupid gooshy face when he does nice or chivalrous things.  Missing him while he’s gone despite the solid rationale that he will be coming back.

Recently though I have had another epiphany.  It’s okay.

I grew up being one of the guys, and I still am, but it’s alright that I have feminine emotions from time to time, because I am, indeed, a girl.

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