Posts Tagged ‘me’

For some people it takes strength to show who they truly are.  For one reason or another they are ashamed of themselves, or what people will think.  I haven’t had that problem since a very young age, and I am very thankful for that, but on the flipside I am graced with one heck of a personality to deal with.  I marvel at the people who are brave enough to be who they truly are, and that person is a kind, mild mannered, delightful person to be around.  Seriously people, I aspire to be you!

I am loud, and opinionated.  You have heard me talk in the past about how I’m kind of a guy a lot of the time, and I treat my friendships as such.  If you don’t understand what I mean by that, my brief explanation is always this: Men treat friendships like a football, and they last forever.  Women treat friendships like a glass slipper, and they shatter with the smallest of falls.  Another personal favorite is men spend their friendships trading insults they don’t mean, women spend their friendships trading compliments they don’t mean.

With all that being said, I’ve put together some simple tips for mastering that strong personality of (mine) yours, so (we) you can find a way to walk that delicate line of having a strong personality, and being a giant bag of jerk.

1.)  Location, Location, Location!

This is number one for a reason, kids!   There is a time and a place for that strong personality of yours.   Corporate world?  Not one of them.   You have opinions, that’s fine.  Shut up unless it’s your turn to be talking, and to be clear, if you’re not sure, it’s likely not.   I am in many situations where my temper and personality need to be shoved in to that deep, dark corner of my mind until we’re done playing with the other kids.   It’s not gonna be easy, and that’s okay, get over it and do it, or you’re going no where in this world.

This brings me to the next place:  Facebook/anyothersocialmediasitethatmakesyoufeellikeyou’retoughwhenyoupostyourbigbritchesopiniononit.   Guess what, princess?  You’re not tough, you’re talking trash over the internet.   You have opinions, that’s fine, and if you want to post them, that’s also fine.  Your butt better be respectful when you do, and don’t get all upset if someone disagrees with what you have to say.  You’re entitled to your opinion, and they’re entitled to think you’re an idiot for it.

2.) Being Ornery has its Place.

Remember how I was just talking about how guy friendships are?   My friends say some mean crap to me!  I say some pretty mean crap back.  None of us ever mean any harm,  it’s just kind of the relationship.  I spend more time beating on and insulting my brother than  I do saying nice things to him, and I honestly think he’s one of the greatest people on the planet.   That mean behavior doesn’t have a place with someone you’ve just met.  Everyone’s different, and you need to get a feel of how your relationship with that person is going to be before you go throwin’ around the playful insults.  Words hurt, and if someone doesn’t know you well enough to know you don’t mean it, you could actually hurt them.

I also have friends who I’ve known forever who I don’t have that type of relationship with.  It’s not that we’re not close, it’s just that’s not how we are with one another.  Every relationship (whether you have a tough personality to deal with or not) needs to be evaluated differently.

3.) Let Them Know You Love Them.

If you have an abrasive personality, that makes it even more important to remind the people in your life that you love them.  Even if you know they know you care, you still need to remind them.  They’ll likely make fun of you and you’ll poke at each other about it for a while, but I promise you, it’s important.  Do it.  (no Linda!)

4.) It’s NOT the Same!

“I’m not rude, I just have a strong personality!” is the same as “I’m not fat, I’m just big boned!”  Sorry sweets, you’re rude, or fat, or possibly both, but for the purpose of staying on topic, you’re probably rude.   Having a strong personality is not an excuse to be a rude jerk to everyone you meet.  You say please, you say thank you, you mind your bloody manners, or you are just rude.  Rude is not good.  Fix it, or go crawl in a hole.  Thanks.

5.) Be Who You Are.

This can be hard when some people have a tough time dealing with your personality.   We have all lost friends at one point in our life because our personalities simply did not mesh.  If you’re a healthy human being, you go through a period of introspection to decide whether it’s you, or it’s them.  Or whether your behavior is acceptable.  Again, that’s healthy.  You should evaluate yourself on a constant basis to better yourself as a person.   With that being said, if you have healthy relationships with several people, and this one person (or one clique of people if you’re really unlucky) has decided they don’t like you, you need to think of the possibility that it could be on them.   If you like you as a person, and the people you love and care about like you as a person, then don’t change just because one person couldn’t deal with you.   There are gonna be people who can’t.  In fact, since you have a strong personality, several people probably wont like you.

It’s a hard line to balance.  I am lucky having a wonderful support group of friends and family filled with people who smack me upside my tiny, thick skull, when I become a twit.   On the flip side,  they poke, prod, beat, and nurture the heck out of me.   Which takes me to number 6.

6.) Acquire the Right Friends.

This is important for everyone in life, not just people who are occasionally a little hard to handle, but I mention it here because it is so important for you if you worry about that balance between being somewhat of a spitfire, and being a complete jerk.    Again, I am graced with a fantastic group of people who back me when I’m right and smack me when I’m wrong.   When ever I’m concerned about that line, or having a sad introspective day of  “oh no, is it me? doom/gloom/whine!”, they are there to give me the honest truth.   It’s usually one of three things: a-Yes, it is you, chill out, don’t be stupid, and come back when you can play with the others, b-no, it’s not you, don’t worry, or c- Yes, it is you… but that’s okay!  And that takes us to 7!

7.) Yes!  It Is You, and that’s Okay!

I can not stress this enough, and this is to people with all types of personality, not just ones that are sometimes hard to handle.  Some people just aren’t gonna like ya.  I can name five people off the top of my head who have never done one thing to me that I just do not like for one reason or another, and I can name far more who I can’t think of one thing that I could have done to piss in their cheerios (and trust me, people’s cheerios are like my favorite tree some days), and they just don’t like me either.

Not everyone you meet is going to like you.  Get over it, right now, all of you, regardless of personality.  I am so serious.  You will live a far, far happier life when you get that cold hard fact through your skull.

You have countless things against you. Pharamones, Hormones, xylophones, conditioning, environment, really, the list goes on.   Some people just ain’t gonna like ya.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little list I decided to make at 5am this morning.  Find your balance, be happy with you, and always remember that Dr. Suess had it right:  Be who you are, and say what you feel.  Because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

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